October 2009
38 posts
Q: What is one work of art that you think would be...
I agree 100% about remaking Oz. The classics should not be meddled with!
bronsonanswers:
Bronson: Perfect Strangers, but apparently they already did, in Russia. Also The Wizard of Oz, which is in the works.
The Brain
I read in this book, Why Don’t Students Like School, that the human brain isn’t really designed for thinking, but rather to allow us to avoid thinking by doing things by rhote memorization. I wonder about the veracity of that.
“Bronson’s Tumblr Blog is Bronson at his brattiest rather than Bronson at...”
– The man himself
“Thank you! :-)
Words are just records of thoughts, and thoughts are myriad,...”
– Me….to a Twitterer who thought my output was worthy of note (via bronsonpinchot1)
Attention span of a gnat
I think that describes modern America to a T. I run into precious few people who can read a long novel from cover to cover. Instead, like bees, they flit from one sweetly scented and gaudy flower to another, hoping to get a thrilling little sound byte.
My father calls us a nanosecond culture. I think we are also a byte culture. If we can’t obtain it quickly and easily, we deem it unworthy...
Jeopardy
I just got my ass handed to me. Will try to redeem myself with the Final Jeopardy.
Tweaking on the Mattress
Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
bronsonpinchot1:
“Let me ask you something?” says Tumblr as Bronson re-materializes on the mattress on the floor.
Bronson: (momentarily disoriented) O- Ok.
Tumblr: Do you love me just because I give you access to people who seem to approve of your posts?
Bronson: No.
Tumblr: Liar.
Bronson: Ok; yes.
Tumblr: Bastard.
Bronson: You know - I just got...
Tweaking on the Mattress
bronsonpinchot1:
“Let me ask you something?” says Tumblr as Bronson re-materializes on the mattress on the floor.
Bronson: (momentarily disoriented) O- Ok.
Tumblr: Do you love me just because I give you access to people who seem to approve of your posts?
Bronson: No.
Tumblr: Liar.
Bronson: Ok; yes.
Tumblr: Bastard.
Bronson: You know - I just got back from Limbo.
Tumblr: You sent yourself...
Heavenly
It was all just a dream. Or was it?
bronsonpinchot1:
St. Peter: Bronson
Bronson: Yeah, bro.
St. Peter: Thou mayn’t call me Bro.
Bronson: You’re strict.
St. Peter: Choose: breakfast or Earth.
Bronson: I can sniff it, can’t I?
Tumblr: Who are you talking to?
Bronson: (starts) Where am I?
Tumblr: Umm…the mattress on the floor of your bedroom where we like to hang out. I was thinking of...
A Prayer in Time
WTH is chicken pineapple?
bronsonpinchot1:
Bronson begins to move his lips soundlessly, like his grandmother doing the rosary in the backyard.
He is locked in the bathroom with an oddly-behaving and quite possibly pregnant Tumblr outside the door, and she claims to have locked him in, and his pride stands in the way of his actually testing the door.
The lights begin to strobe. His feet fall...
Frozen Moment
And the spider has her fly…
bronsonpinchot1:
Tumblr: BRONNIE!
Bronson stays still, the fiction being he can’t hear her.
Tumblr: I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!
Bronson: WHAT??
Tumblr: (At the bathroom door, suddenly, murmuring) I know you can hear me.
Bronson (gulps) Oh - um - I thought with the fan and everything -
Tumblr: You’re scared of commitment, aren’t you, Bronnnniieeeee?
Bronson:...
A Plan
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
You’ve been to the Netherlands? My grandfather came from there circa 1919.
bronsonpinchot1:
Bronson resolves to step calmly outside the bathroom and feign madness so that Tumblr will go back to wherever it is she lives and allow him time to pack a few things and abscond to the Netherlands, where Bronson was once, in 1998, in Cannes, by...
Jaws Music
This is why I’m never having kids. :-D
bronsonpinchot1:
Bronson sits back on the toilet (don’t worry, the seat is down - he didn’t really need the toilet at all, just the privacy) and opens his laptop. Yes, he brought his laptop.
He notes, via comments linked to reblogs, that someone thinks he may just possibly be doing a very, very clever imitation of himself.
For the first time in...
Hez Hollahs
Nurse Honeybunch! *dies in hysterical fits of laughter*
bronsonpinchot1:
Cellphone rings.
Tumblr wakens.
Tumblr: Bronnie, can you get my cellphone out of my purse?
Bronson: Sure, honey.
Tumblr: Ask who it is
Bronson: Hello?
Nurse Hez: Hi, Bronnie
Bronson: Honeybunch!
Tumblr: Who the hell is that?
Bronson: It’s Nurse Honeybunch, I mean, Hez, I mean, remember that Alpha Nurse at the E....
Brief Ode On the Way Home
Well I was going to eat a plateful of spaghetti. *turns green*
bronsonpinchot1:
Tums, I’m driving like a comet
O’er my lap are specks of vomit
From your angel-mouth they fly
One of them got in my eye
I don’t mind, cuz you’re my wummin
You spice up my life, like cumin
Hez Followup
I knew it. Congratulations! Let’s have a baby shower!
bronsonpinchot1:
(Cellphone rings)
Bronson: Hello?
Tumblr: (blearily) whaaa?
Bronson: HELLO??
Voice on cellphone: Is this Mr. Pinchot?
Bronson: Yes
Voice on cellphone: This is Nurse Hez from Mercy Emergency Room
Bronson: Oh, hi baby!
Tumblr (irritably) WHO’D YOU JUST CALL ‘BABY?’
Bronson: (confusedly) Um - you, baby - how you...
A Poem: Solitude by Lewis Carroll
lucymachado:
I love the stillness of the wood: I love the music of the rill: I love to couch in pensive mood Upon some silent hill.
Scarce heard, beneath yon arching trees, The silver-crested ripples pass; And, like a mimic brook, the breeze Whispers among the grass.
Here from the world I win release, Nor scorn of men, nor footstep rude, Break in to mar the holy peace Of this great...
Silverfang Parking
Now that I’m wearing glasses, I can finally do my job without totaling the clients’ cars!
bronsonpinchot1:
Bronson: Hi, lemme see if I can find your ticket
Silverfang: Take your time.
Bronson: Are you the owner of Silverfang Valet Service?
Silverfang: That’s my grandma.
Bronson: Oh, cuz, (chuckles nervously) I can’t find the ticket. But I can tell you when we arrived.
...
Ode To My BlackBerry
I have a little phone called the BlackBerry
Almost as red as a cherry
When its data services stop
I always blow my top
When I can’t get online
I piss, moan and whine
Today I write this ode
Because soon I’ll switch to the Samsung Code
3 tags
A Whispered Sonnet from the Emergency Waiting Room
You are a fabulous poet!!!!
bronsonpinchot1:
Tumblr, Tumblr, wake up please
Shake your screen or sigh or wheeze
Look me in the eyes and say
“Bronnie, it’s another day!”
Let my fingers stroke your keys
Flick the dust off, make you sneeze
Show me, Tumblr, signs of life
Tell me that you’ll be my wife
All around us dull-eyed folk
Comment on us, nudge and poke
One another in the sides
...
2 tags
Agh!
OK, now it works! Damn Tumblr, damn BlackBerry!
test from blackberry →
I just renewed my license. I didn’t realize my eyes had deteriorated so much. I had to run home and get my glasses. I will wear them henceforth.
1 tag
Back with Tumblr
bronsonpinchot1:
Tumblr has fallen into an uneasy sleep - Its breathing is ragged. I try to smoothe Its hair but It has no hair. I try to mop Its brow but get a slight shock.
Perhaps I’ll just lie here and wonder if It loves me or just wanted Its chapstick. I still have it in the crook of my neck.
In the morning I will take the cap off the chapstick and invite Tumblr to moisten Its lips...
Sexy
Bronson has made Tumblr sexy in a beautiful way. http://twitter.com/omegawolf747
2 tags
My Tumblr Ode
Now I know whom to hire if I need an ode written for someone.
bronsonpinchot1:
Tumblr Tumblr let me touch you
Type on you and overmuch you
Worship you and tag your posts
Make you cheesy mini-toasts
Mini toasts of Asiago
More Othello than Iago
Tumblr - ah! I need you so
More than even salmon roe
Wrapp’d in blini, dripping butter
Tumblr, I’ve become a nutter
6 tags
4 tags
Testing mobile post. Nebraska air conditioning.
Small Town Smallness
Small Town and clown put together make me think of Stephen King’s It. That movie made my skin crawl.
How do you put up with that kind of treatment?! I would have had my bags packed and been out of there a long time ago.
Hopefully, they’ll accept you someday.
bronsonpinchot1:
There are two words which interest me greatly.
One is “small” as in “small town” and one is “clown.”
...
Here we go!
OK, I guess I’ll give Tumblr a whirl. It’s hard not to put an E between the L and R of this. The orthographer within me is writhing in pain. Well, I can just get over it.
The picture in my header is a picture of the Great London Fire of 1666. I’m kind of obsessed with that and don’t know why. The Londoners blamed the Dutch for setting it and attacked any Dutch people...
The Mad Hatter's Kitchen
No worries. I’ve been known to do that. Washing dishes is a PITA.
bronsonpinchot1:
My kitchen is a personal shrine to the Mad Hatter. I don’t exactly move from dirty place setting to dirty place setting, but I do use every single cup, plate, glass and piece of cutlery I own until all are dirty and clogged and then - and only then - do I do the dishes.
I am in love with Tumblr
No and more’s the shame for it.
bronsonpinchot1:
And if none of you mind, I am going to gently and caringly upend my computer and make sweet love to it for twenty or forty minutes or until one of us says, “Hey, how about some breakfast? How did I exist right up until this morning without it? Oh, the pure joy of it. Now, a technical question: if I make gracious love to Tumblr will it...
Inside Edition
Make them watch the latter eps of Family Matters. After JoMarie Payton-France left, it was all downhill.
bronsonpinchot1:
Inside Edition asked me to come to New York to do an “exclusive” on my comments in the AV Club article. At first I was tempted, just because I felt chic and there were also some nights in a New York hotel to be considered. And then my young agent Stewart Cavanagh talked me...
